Grandmas and Alligators

I wish I had the words to express all that is in my heart.  But unfortunately all the words in Webster’s Dictionary are woefully inadequate.  So perhaps I will, instead, rely on numbers.  We just received the results of Dennis’ labs and CT scan of yesterday.  His CA19-9 is 45, and his CT scan shows no new growth, and some shrinkage.  Translation:  his tumor markers have been reduced by nearly 25 points, and the scan shows no new growth, and some shrinkage. 

We had no doubt all would be well.  But it is always nice to have actual verification of what you already know. 

I was never any good at math.  Numbers and I have always had an adversarial relationship.  To me, “double digits” simply means two fingers flashing the peace sign.  I don’t like to tabulate, quantify, or balance equations.  But there is not always safety in numbers.  Usually, I’d prefer indulging in belly paint than look at the latest stats. I have discovered over the years of being assaulted by my own reflection that REAL measurements have nothing to do with numbers or statistics. But in this case, I will ratify tumor markers of 45, and celebrate with Twinkies and laxatives.

Tomorrow Dennis and I are taking a road trip to Cedar City to see the plays “Dial M For Murder” and “A Winter’s Tale,” by Shakespeare.  I love a good mystery. And I am curious to see if the Bard himself has the words to bare my soul, although I am skeptical.  We will not be sensible.  We will be optimistic.  And we will fight on.  Mostly we will be grateful.

A few weeks ago, an alligator attacked and severely injured an elderly woman in Florida.  She was walking near her home when the 8-foot-behemoth lunged out of a canal and tried to drag the woman into the water.  But that 90-year-old grandmother hung on…and prevailed.  There is a lesson for everyone, especially for those about to be swallowed by numbers.  Hang on, and prevail.  It is better to crunch the numbers than to be crunched by them. 

Word to the wise:  Never mess with grandmas!