Sunday, November 18, 2007

The Clot Thickens

This has been a most interesting week. We have learned so much, and met so many wonderful doctors, nurses, technicians and patients. We have decided to revise our “Top Ten Heroes” list. So many names are engraved on this list, and believe it or not, not one is a celebrity or sports star! (Sorry, Britney and Barry!)

Dennis continues to quietly endure the assault from the weapons of “mass” destruction. These are powerful and toxic, and worthy of harsh language. But the Clot actually had some good news the other day. Dennis has gained a pound! One huge and lovely pound! We are so proud, we’ll no doubt be cited for excessive celebration in the end zone. In fact, that’s exactly where the pound is…his end zone. The girls and I have been gaining weight by proxy in an effort to aid him in his quest, but the doctors indicated it had to be “Dennis density” and that our increased thigh size didn’t count. Apparently, no matter how much the “Clot thickens,” it doesn’t count for Dennis’ over-all body re-contouring. We are still thrilled, however, and have decided to rescind our requests for donor cellulite for the time being.

I know we cannot claim credit for this pound. It is the result of the amazing meals that have been brought to us. You have made him what he is today…a hunka hunka burnin’ love. We are truly grateful that so much time and effort has been invested on our behalf. You will never know how much we appreciate you. In fact, because of all you have done for us, I am forced to make a cataclysmic decision. Because I have been busted by the “dinner police,” I have decided to make some confessions to our daughters that I have been trying to avoid all their lives. So here they are…in no particular order:

*Yes, girls, some people actually cook meat as a main dish instead just of lighting “roast and potatoes” candles to create the illusion.

*Yes, some people actually have cook books that contain more recipes than just the numbers of pizza delivery places.

*No, not every homemaker has Domino’s on speed dial.

*Yes, some shoppers make grocery lists that include more items than Coke, chocolate and blueberry muffin mix.

*Muffins are the natural by-product of adding an egg and some water to the muffin mix and placing the whole thing in some sort of heat source…preferably an oven. (as opposed to spooning the mix directly into the mouth.)

*Speaking of ovens, I must remember to remove the new-appliance packing material and my sewing machine before we turn it on to cook the muffins. This will be rather inconvenient because extra storage space is so hard to find.

*Yes, there are some homes whose custom is to have dinner on a nightly basis and not just Thanksgiving and Christmas. ( This admission is particularly difficult.)

Finally, I am going to make a valiant effort to cut back on my “buy and lie” philosophy. You know what that is. It’s the practice of buying items, removing all identifying tags, sales slips and other incriminating evidence, and claiming to have made them myself. (I hope I can withstand the withdrawal) I am ashamed to admit to this particular addiction, but it absolutely dazzled my mother-in-law. Those who know me well, however, completely discount my claims…to the point that they don’t believe I actually made something when I actually do make something. Ah, the dilemma of deceit.

("Mr. and Mrs. Willowcreek Clot": T-shirts signed by Willowcreek staff)

This is not an easy road, but Dennis takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin.’ His strong will is remarkable. For that we are so grateful. We feel such positive momentum, and we feel your love. The two are synonymous. Prayer changes things…it has certainly changed us.

We love you,
The Clot

From Dennis:
P.S. Recently I received a 'care package' from my friends at Willow Creek - the operative word being 'care'. It included packages that were to be opened on days of the week. Joan and I got quite excited when the first 2 packages contained 'his and hers' PJ's. For some reason, our recent thoughts had not included 'classy nighttime attire', and it was nice to be reminded that amid the tubes and flushes there is still a place for weird visions after dark. Thanks to all for the ingenuity and concern for the old guy; but remember - 'I'll be back'. Dennis


Alex & Margaret Wheeler said...

Dear Joan & Dennis,
Your list reminds me of our first Sunday in the Holladay 25th ward. As part of Dennis'Sunday School lesson you had compiled a list of some modern day & Biblical Father's Day gifts. It was hillarious & I will never forget it! Joan, you also gave a wonderful lesson on the women of the Bible in Relief Society. I think you are showing the same courage, grace & strength that they had. You are in our thoughts & prayers. We wish you the best.
Margaret & Alex Wheeler

the4ofusut said...

Dr. Ashton,
I had to tell you, Brandon saw your PJ's and got a devilish glint in his eye and grinned and said "His pajamas have footballs on them, maybe deep down he does like football!" I tried to explain (now remember he IS 15) why you have your football feelings for litle boys (that phrase went over quite well - little) but he just laughed and said he always knew deep down you really are cool. I had to share this teenage moment with you because your darling family updates make me laugh every time I read them. Also, Nick saw the last pics also and said he can already tell you are better. Keep getting better!
Stephanie Urry

the Tillmann Family said...

Dear Dr Dennis,

You have been in our family's prayers every day. W love the photo with the PJ's the dynamic duo (Zach and Cort) think it is great. They now want to get some for mom and dad for Christmas. we hope you get well soon. Keep fighting and don't ever give up. You are an amazing man and our family thinks very highly of you. We love you and wish you well!!!
Chris, Kristine Zach and Cort Tillmann

cristie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cristie said...

we so love to read your updates. the photos are wonderful and the french fry idea...well, it really is just like you to make any event a party! xox

Anonymous said...

Glad to know that the clot "thickens" but sorry to hear you don't need any cellulite donors! I have plenty I'd be willing to donate. Keep up the fight and I do KNOW you will be back, We wouldn't and couldn't have it any other way.
Chris, Megan and Christopher Chytraus