Here's the update: Today was a good day- the Clot had a break from the Cancer Institute. Dad's spirits and will are strong. In fact, even as we write, he's doing our grocery shopping. (Just the essentials: Milk and Diet Coke). He's slowly losing the yellow "designer Jaundice" color we were so grateful for. (It was the sign that led us to the @$%&* mass). There has been some discomfort with the stent (the tube inserted into his side to help drain the bile). But we are hoping to surgically internalize it on Monday, thanks to some very helpful doctors. Tomorrow he meets with the Chemo doctor to decide on the drugs that will go with the radiation.
With the hiatus from the hospital today, the Clot has had way too much time on their hands. Since the Hollywood writers are on strike, we have been honing our comedic skills, as evidenced below. Our "Tonight's Top Ten" bottoms out at number seven.
It's an interesting perspective to be on the other side of the stethoscope. Today was a day off from procedures. Dennis has gone through Haute Couture Hospital Attire withdrawl. He's becoming so used to the gowns that he neglects to tie them up. He has claimed "wardrobe malfunction" but the Clot has long suspected that he is really a closet flasher.
As you can tell from Yesterday's pictures, we were unable to arrange for J-O-A-N to be spelled out in block letters on his chest. The technicians claimed it was "gratuitous Tatts" and they do not indulge in "Chest Graffitti."
We were informed that the chemo would be too mild to endanger the two remaining hairs left on his head. They assured us that his nasal fur would also remain pretty much intact. So the Clot's plans to pull a "Britney Spears" and have a mass shaving of the heads has been shelved for the time being. Noting our disappointment, Dennis suggested that we substitute a ceremonial shaving of the legs instead. We have agreed to comply. We are all making sacrifices. (Weed Wacker Anyone?)
TONIGHT'S TOP TEN (SEVEN) LIST
Top Ten Terms You'll never find in a Medical Dictionary
1. Mass Avenger: Dr. Sean Mulvihill.
2. Mass Transit: The Whipple Procedure (My suggestion of blasting the @$&*% mass into outer darkness with my Sigourney Weaver fire uzi was duly noted by the medical staff, but ultimately rejected.)
3. Mass Communication: Harsh language, or calling the @$%*& mass any cuss word consisting of four or more letters and deemed inappropriate by polite society.
4. Ducts: What we're trying to keep in a row.
5. Duct Tape: Method by which we're keeping all of our ducts in a row.
6. Panache (pronounced Pan-Ash): Medical shorthand for "Ashton Pancreas".
7. Liver: What we're ultimately trying to be.
You must know that your love, faith and prayers are sustaining us at this time. We will ever be grateful. There are many things being done on our behalf, both seen and unseen. The Clot is struggling to find words to say thank you.