Thursday, December 6, 2007

FuFu-ing the Masstard, and Erin: Exonerated

On Today's Dwarf-O-Meter of Nausea, the Winner is...
#3 Pukey!

Today we hit a landmark…Dennis is halfway done with his radiation treatments! We are all jubilant…except Dennis, who is also jubilant, but nauseous. His weight is down, and his nausea is up. But his spirits are always high, and we are shoveling in the chocolate pudding as much as he'll let us. Nausea can really ruin a celebration. But on the “Seven Dwarfs of Nausea” scale, he’s about a Pukey (#3) and nowhere near Pissy (#7) so we still feel comfortable about taking him out in public.
We did, however, almost reconsider the public thing when we noticed what he was wearing. He had on his Halloween orange tee shirt with an “I -am- unabashedly-nauseous” green sweater over the top. Yes, he was definitely “over the top,” but when Dennis is a three on the Nausea Scale, no one is about to make an issue of it. Besides, he wore it with his Cyrano panache, and suddenly it seemed fashionable. (We were just happy he had changed out of his “Superman” jammies!)

We are still working on getting his full second “hunka” back. The first “hunka” is still there, but slightly diminished. We are seriously considering getting him a “fake fat butt” like the ones used to enhance derriers. (News Flash, Dennis: There are some of us who wear our fake fat butts all year long) He's had to get suspenders just to keep his Superman PJ's aloft! But he is still a whole lot of burnin’ love. And speaking of “burnin’,” the cumulative effects of the daily rays not only make Dennis glow, but may produce the “molotov” effect. A couple of extra foot pounds of pressure per second per second, and he could turn into “kamikaze Man!” a weapon of mass destruction that could be the envy of every terrorist.

But there have been some of the most wonderful gifts brought to our doorstep that take the barf out of the chemo, and the sting out of the radiation. We all agree that some of the greatest encouragement comes from the smallest voices. That was the case when Dennis received a white envelope filled with notes, messages and hand-drawn pictures from the Smith girls: Ali, Mia and Lily. There are pictures of a stethoscope and other medical instruments, hearts, butterflies, snowmen and designs that rival any impressionist painter. It actually made us forget all seven of the Nausea Dwarfs, something only a big dose of Zofran could do prior to that. It was better than any prescription. Children are the best medicine.

We also received a wonderful “house call” from Kathy O’Mara and Joe Jopling, the son of our “prayer warrior.” There was a basket full of goodies, but some of our favorites were the Lance Armstrong book ,”It’s Not About The Bike,” and a whole lot of “livestrong” wrist bands. The entire Clot is wearing them these days…it’s the latest fashion trend…unless, of course, you count orange tee shirts and green sweaters. The most unique inclusion, however, is the box of Zen meditation balls. They are designed to relieve stress and awaken inner peace. Dennis has become so proficient with the Zen balls, that he began juggling them. He has really impressed his fellow “infusees” with his new-found talent… and inner peace. Now the technicians are pretty relaxed about what goes on in the Infusion Room, but they did draw the line when Dennis offered to juggle everybody’s gemcytobene bags, fearing this would not be conducive anyone’s enlightenment and inner harmony.

In an effort to keep this blog unblemished and in the interest of truth in advertising, I have to confess to the deadly (not to mention fattening) sin of unrestrained frosting snarfing. In a moment of weakness, I opened the fridge and saw Anne Crockatt’s carrot cake with butter frosting, pleading for me to have just one lick. Well, it was like an out- of- body experience. I was watching myself spoon that ambrosia into my mouth with such velocity, it would have been easier to stop a speeding train. I was actually amazed at my own agility!

I would not be confessing this if Erin had not sneaked into the fridge for the same purpose and found the cake naked. I had been careful not to eat any of the carrots in the cake for fear of getting something of nutritive value, but I tried to explain that as a mother I owed it to my children to run interference whenever they were on the verge of over-indulging in comfort frosting. Erin completely rejected the feeble child protection defense and raised her fists in a radical show of vindication. OK…I was busted! (But I also got all of the frosting, so it was a “neener, neener” moment)

This Christmas and holiday season is the best we have ever had. We understand so much better the significance of the birth of the Savior in Bethlehem. And we are celebrating all the angels who embrace us and minister to us each day.


The Clot

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am crying and laughing at the same time reading your blog. We love youf family so much. We are praying for Dennis in your fight. Now you have more than one fight going on: fight for frosting, fight for muffin mix, fight to keep food down, and fight for health. You are teaching us all about life and to keep it light. It helps to laugh. We're praying for you!!!! Love, Ann Pehrson