Thursday, February 14, 2008

Abraham Ashton?

Dear Loved Ones,

In spite of a tremendous blizzard, winds whipping massive snow drifts across freeways, trees bent over with the weight of the snow, and a wind chill factor suggesting arctic blast, it’s a lovely day. As you know, good news brings sunshine, and there was a sunbeam this morning when Dennis rolled (literally) out of bed. When we checked the gauze over the place where his grenades had been, we found it to be dry. Apparently the little peep hole left over from the surgery has sealed itself. This is such good news, now that we don’t have to have it stitched, taped, zipped or plugged. (My cache of emergency bubble gum wads can now be disposed of). The Clot is especially happy because we have been trying to harness our collective mental powers to remedy the situation.(That’s a feat in itself!) We have been chanting “Om” and repeating “Super Glue” in an effort to effect a seal…and it worked. (Of course, Dennis claims this is the result of natural bodily functions, but is gracious enough to remain silent as we’re all chest-thudding each other in the air.) We celebrate all victories.

February is a month distinguished by second-tier holidays. Besides Valentine’s Day, there is also President’s Day. And those who know our family, know how much we revere Abraham Lincoln. In fact, our first grandson is named Abram, which is a derivative of Abraham. Lincoln's actual birthday was on Tuesday, February 12th, and I was rather disappointed it wasn’t duly noted in the newspaper. I have read so much on Lincoln, and lately I have noticed some striking similarities between Lincoln and Dennis.
They both have beards.
They are both tall and lanky…except Dennis, who isn’t tall.
They both have a great sense of humor.
They are both quiet…except for Lincoln, who gave a lot of speeches and told a lot of humorous stories.
They both have a fondness for the tune “Dixie,” except for Dennis, whose favorite tune is “Here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson.”
And they both have wives who are…well, let’s not go there.

As you can see, if the two were in the same room, they’d be practically indistinguishable.
But it was Lincoln who said, “I have been driven many times upon my knees by the over-whelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go.” And so have we all. Lincoln preserved the body politic, and Dennis is preserving his body. They’re like brothers born of different mothers.

And speaking of preserving the body, the Clot has detected a slight increase in Dennis’ body mass. Now this increase is not evident on the scales. In fact, it’s not even evident to the naked eye. It’s more on the cellular level, but it is undeniably there. We can intuit a microscopic regeneration, and this growth will form ounces that will evolve into pounds which will have babies and produce great mounds of flesh till the “hunkas” are back en masse, and the man’s dimensions fill the void in the universe with…HIM!
(As you can tell, sometimes our imaging takes on a life of its own!)

Today we will observe a very romantic get-away. We plan to hold hands in our matching recliners and watch “Casa Blanca” while measured and rhythmic infusions of Jevity are periodically squirted into Dennis’ nose hose. I defy anyone to devise a better way for sweethearts to invest this holiday. The day is stormy, and the world looks white and pristine. Our driveway has been cleared…an early and anonymous valentine. How we love you all. In a recent Relief Society lesson, our teacher included a quote that I can only paraphrase. She said that the sun, with all its responsibilities in the universe, shines on a clump of grapes as if it had nothing else to do. You have brought us your love and support without restraint, as if you had nothing else to do. We are warmed and safe, and our hearts are full.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Dearest Ones.

The Clot


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the wonderful Valentine!! What a beautiful day!! As I sat with 35 first grade students this a.m. that didn't get the message that school would start 2 hrs. late, I counted my blessings and the fact that we had survived a huge "storm". Love you!!!

Anonymous said...

Dear Dr. Ashton,
Despite our 6 trips to willowcreek since October, we just heard today of your battle with cancer. I wanted to drop you a note letting you know you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. We've missed you! With sincere thanks for almost 10 years of taking care of ear infections, strep throat, asthma attacks, eczema, and more ear infections--The Slaters said...

It has been a delight for me to keep up with your lives with the blog. I am so happy Denny and the rest of you live this problem with as positive outlook as possible. My mother used to say, "Put two negatives together and you get something unbearable to deal with; put a positive and a negative together, and you can deal with anything." Lots of love and prayers. Marilyn Larson (cousin)

cristie said...

there could not be a more complete picture of love and devotion. happy sweetheart's day to you both. xox