I have postponed posting a blog. It seems appropriate in the light of such darkness.
Our collective tranquility has been amputated. We have been ravaged. We are disheveled by the sorrow viewed
through a prism of tears of the family tableaux branded on our conscience by
the recent occurrence in Connecticut.
The magnitude of such events is unquantifiable and
claustrophobic. In the confounding
grip of unfathomable wounds, we search in vain for words to express raw
emotions. Severance leaves us
speechless.
There is a pronounced illiteracy to grief.
In numbed stillness, we lack the ability to reorganize our
minds, and suffer woeful fatigue.
The dark has thickened, bleak and desolate. It is impossible to understand a part let alone have a sense
of the whole.
The national vocabulary increased collectively by 3 last
week: “Glock,” “Sig Saur,”
“Bushmaster.”
All the desiccated words that have been disgorged cannot
blot them out.
Children are learning the alphabet in multiples of
three: NRA. Magazines are no longer what we read as
mindless pastime. Mathematical
equations center on numbers attached to assault weapons.
We all own pieces of the wreckage.
But there has also arisen an exquisite tribal order – an
order of humanity for the sole purpose of endurance through this dark labyrinth
of bereavement. We “connect.”
Words can leave vapor trails. Interjecting multiple “very’s” and numerous “so’s” does not
empower declaratives for sufficient expression. Milton himself lacks authority to chronicle such hollow purposelessness. It is impossible to speak the
unspeakable.
Silence, on the other hand, penetrates the soul – a quiet
cataloging of grief. Hushed moments
of meditation and reflection are our voice, our articulation, our balm.
We have witnessed the nobility of the meek.
The winter solstice will arrive shortly, and a portion of
illumination will be grafted onto the succeeding days that will disperse the
darkness and salve and heal the gaping wounds that afflict us nationally and
personally.
We will mend cell by cell, when blessed amnesia mutes the
horror, and we can recall once more that before the slaughter of the innocents,
a Child was born.
We will remember that the tomb was empty, the manger full.
1 comment:
Aunt Joani-
I can't help but wonder if Dennis was needed in preparation for this sad event. Welcoming those sweet spirits into a place we know very little of. Taking care of children was a big part of his life here, and I'm sure he's continuing that. Warms my heart at the thought. I love you so!
Marianne
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