It’s ironic that the darkest quadrant of the year houses the
season that celebrates the greatest historical light. Perhaps The Universal Prevailing Wisdom would
intentionally prevent spiritual atrophy from a glut of inky shadow and feeble
despondency by a flood of brightness from unusual astronomical manifestations.
I rather welcome the radiant coziness of a hearth in
winter. It seems designated for
protracted contemplation suppressed during glorious lilac springs and warmer
months of light and heat. Summer is
suffused with distractions and detours not conducive to musing. Heat that could poach us alive muffles reflection
and leaves me a rather dull study.
Thought becomes shallow in too much sun.
It’s easy to become mentally muggy.
But being a mindless mollusk is packed with consequence.
With the arrival of autumn, I begin to “brain without restraint.” Misguided neurological transmitting can be
the sum of all evils! Scary.
So I have scaled back on questioning of late. Unusual for me. I’m guilty of inordinate inquiry, probing and
trolling for answers that routinely prove elusive. It seems that whenever I
spew whys and wherefores, it is from a perspective of anger and petulance. I
become belligerent and defiant. I am not seeking answers so much as bawling
tantrums heavenward. This violates a
larger order, and light leeches away from me.
Such disconnect. Consequently, I
become incapable of stepping up to what might be required of me. That is
counter-productive.
But questioning leaves me weary, (What else exhausts like
sustained sorrow?) and often the answers are as counterfeit as the inquiries.
I have to continue on my pilgrimage from here. I cannot afford detours, especially those
that become quicksand. We are obligated
to be happy.
I have learned so many things. It’s a process. I am by no means a savant.
However, much of that knowledge I have gained, I’ve had to
grow into. Growth is difficult and slow. Understanding arrives more with
patient grace than with rocket force.
Perhaps the quest for Simple Healing brings its own
comprehension. I guess that’s sufficient
wisdom.
I do believe that to be resilient, one must be distracted
regularly. And so I am particularly
thankful for grandchildren, doctors’ appointments, and imbicilic sensationalism
disguised as journalistic “breaking news.”
I have tried to schedule all my check-ups and procedures
until after December 21st, when, according to the Mayan calendar,
Doomsday will arrive. Apparently solar
storms and toxic leaks are expected, the earth will collide with the planet
Niburu, and there will be a robust shift in the earth’s magnetic orb…and I won’t
have to have those two cavities filled or go for a colonoscopy. Glory Hallelujah! Procrastination has its privileges!
Personally, I embrace any diversion from royal reproduction obsession
that will redirect the attention of the universe back to the things of greatest
consequence where it belongs…like Tom and Katie’s divorce. What knocked that off the front page
anyway? Hurricane Sandy? The Presidential election? The fiscal cliff, and whether we will all
have to sell a kidney to buy a loaf of bread?
Psshhah! Journalistic
malfeasance.
Oh, there is such unintended humor in celebrity sensation,
vacant minds and small thoughts. But at
least it prevents us from indulging in wanton cogitation with a glut of the
shabby, vulgar and prurient.
But the best way to shut and latch the door against brooding
and the witless pursuit of answers, is watching a platoon of diminutive
gangsters assault my Christmas tree with ornaments, unrestrained merriment and
total lack of aptitude.
When the flurry of decorating was accomplished to their
satisfaction, I noticed vast expanses of desolate Christmas tree wilderness,
vague and spectral, where resided nary an ornament nor light bulb. The garlands were tangled and suspended
vertically from the top of the tree – like festive streamers on a Maypole. Such
joy in Whoville. The kids gathered round the branches and regarded it in wonder
and awe. (I was also in shock.) I’d love
to say we joined hands and sang carols around the tree, like a painting right
out of Norman Rockwell. But alas. It was more like a brawl right out of the
wrestling channel of adolescents high on gingersnaps and soda pop. I began
muttering short declarative sentences like, “Don’t eat the dog food!” And, “It’s
only a flesh wound! No stitches
required!” It was all good.
It’s quite the loveliest tree. Euphoria and effervescence pre-empt
expertise.
As time goes by, I better understand that it is good to
survive, but imperative to adapt. One
must adapt to prevail.
And adaptation demands distraction. One cannot rely solely on excessive caloric
intake and caffeine buzz for holiday cheer.
Six little warriors flinging themselves at each other like cannon balls
in gleeful combat is potent diversion when one may be tempted toward dubious
query counter-intuitive to better judgment.
Dennis would be pleased.
1 comment:
My dearest friend; another delightful read. However, I do see the inner struggles and can read between the lines. We must meet for a hug.
I have wondered how long it takes you to compose such a master piece. You just simply amaze me.
I know your children and grandchildren adore you and you will be up for all the special Christmas moments. I would love to see your tree; I am sure it is a piece of art. Dennis will appreciate all you are doing.
Blessings, love and hugs to you!
We must talk soon.
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